Share on Facebook

How to Be a Better Lover in 6 Easy Steps

Has sex become a tired routine? While hormones may deplete with age, nurturing your passion can refuel the fire. Try these simple suggestions to put the heat back into your bedroom encounters.

1 / 6

How to be a better lover - feet in bedPhoto: Shutterstock

How to Be a Better Lover

Plan your encounters

Time has a habit of slipping away, becoming filled with activities you didn’t plan (even if it’s just watching television). If you want to be a better lover for your significant other, schedule your adventures so they don’t get away from you. Call them dates, if you like. Planning to make love creates anticipation and piques interest. You don’t have to go anywhere or do anything special. Set aside an evening, or a morning or an afternoon if your days are free, just for each other. (Keep in mind, this is the worst time of day to have sex.)

2 / 6
How to be a better lover - woman undressing manPhoto: Shutterstock

Change your routine

If you and your partner have been together a long time, chances are you have a fairly established pattern when it comes to having sex. (These are widely recognized as the seven stages of marriage.) The next time you find yourself starting your regular ritual, stop and make a change. It doesn’t have to be anything major. Shower together instead of separately, light scented candles, or massage each other with heated body oil. Play music that you heard on your first date. Wear something surprising (or even naughty!) to bed. Even very small changes can give your love life a new sense of excitement. Or consider a change of venue. For instance, check into a hotel for a romantic getaway.

Here’s how one woman learned to keep feeling sexy after 60.

3 / 6
How to be a better lover - enjoy itPhoto: Shutterstock

Slow down and enjoy it

Even though it’s natural for your body to slow down, your brain may still be telling you to move things along at a faster pace. Relax and enjoy the journey. Explore new ways to stimulate your partner outside of intercourse. Take pleasure in both giving and receiving, and let things unfold at their natural pace.

Psst—this is exactly how long men and women want sex to last.

4 / 6
How to be a better lover - try different positionsPhoto: Shutterstock

Try different positions

Sometimes health issues make your formerly favourite lovemaking positions uncomfortable or even impossible. If arthritis or a similar condition is a problem, try side-to-side positions, which relieve any need to support yourself or accommodate your partner’s weight. Seated positions let you vary the depth of penetration while giving you additional support (especially if you place your back against a wall or the back of a chair). If a man has difficulty maintaining an erection, he may want to try lying on top of his partner with his legs outside theirs so that they can further stimulate his penis by squeezing their thighs together. Get to know the most common causes of erectile dysfunction.

Brush up on the health benefits of kegel exercises for men.

5 / 6
How to be a better lover - holding hands in bedPhoto: Shutterstock

Spread out the love

It’s great when you have the whole afternoon to indulge in sex, or an evening when you are not tired. But this isn’t always the case. Rather than rushing through a “quickie,” try breaking off your lovemaking and returning later to pick up where you left off. A man may find that he’s enjoyed a sexy session of giving pleasure to his partner even if he hasn’t experienced orgasm himself.

Listen up, gents—here are the sexual health tips your urologist wants you to know.

6 / 6

How to be a better lover - sleep togetherPhoto: Shutterstock

Savour the experience

After sex, delight in the comforts of lying beside each other. Use the time to talk, or simply drift off to sleep together.

Now that you’ve got these tips on how to be a better lover under your belt, discover the best foods to boost your sex life.