Funny Physics Jokes Every Science Lover Will Appreciate

We're not just fission for laughs here.

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Beef Burger with the lot at a fish and chip shop
Photo: Lisa Holmen Photography/Shutterstock

It’s all beef to me

Q: Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
A: Because it’s in its ground state.

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A classic clock in black & white tone with blur background
Photo: Ohmphoto/Shutterstock

Relatively slow

Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too!

These hilarious DIY jokes will bring down the house!

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Photo: fizkes/Shutterstock

Have physics, will travel

A photon checks into a hotel, where a bellhop asks where its suitcase is.
The photon replies, “I didn’t bring any luggage. I’m travelling light.”

These funny Monday jokes will help you make it through the week.

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Electric hand lamps with ceiling LED lamp, spotlight. The concept of repair and maintenance.
Photo: svershinsky/Shutterstock

A tough problem to solve

Q: How many general-relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.

Here are more light bulb jokes that are sure to make you smile.

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Molecular, DNA and atom model in science research lab
Photo: alice-photo/Shutterstock

Lies, all lies

Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything.

If that made you snicker, you won’t want to miss this roundup of hilarious quotes from The Big Bang Theory.

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Lighting Decoration
Photo: Bangkokhappiness/Shutterstock

No light bulbs allowed

Q: Why can’t you take electricity to social outings?
A: Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.

Impress a history buff with these funny history jokes.

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Hand of chemist with pencil writing down observations in laboratory
Photo: Pressmaster/Shutterstock

Logic problem

You enter the high school lab and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?

If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.

These hilarious golf jokes are better than a hole in one.

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glass of scotch whiskey with ice cubes on a rustic wooden table, copy space in the brown background
Photo: Maren Winter/Shutterstock

Free drink

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a whisky?”
The bartender smiles and says, “For you, no charge.”

Check out these witty bar jokes for any occasion.

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portrait of chicken in crowded barn
Photo: Anton Havelaar/Shutterstock

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

Here are 75 funny jokes that will make anyone laugh!

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Car racing spinning wheel burns rubber on floor.
Photo: Zynatis/Shutterstock

Tough start

I have a new theory on inertia, but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

Check out these up-and-coming Canadian comedians—and their best jokes!

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Close up of male hand holding horseshoe magnet
Photo: tkyszk/Shutterstock

Back-handed compliment

Q: What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
A: Seeing you from the back, I thought you were repulsive. But seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.

It doesn’t have to be Pi Day (March 14) to bring out these funny math jokes!

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Friends do a fist bump close up isolated on white
Photo: De Repente/Shutterstock

Throwing punches

Q: What did the quantum physicist say before the bar fight?
A: Let me atom!

These hilarious birthday jokes are guaranteed to get a laugh.

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Mallard duck male in active flight.
Photo: Gallinago_media/Shutterstock

Physics for the birds

Q: What did the duck say to the physicist?
A: Quark, quark, quark!

Here are 20 funny phrases worth memorizing.

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Best physics jokes - nuclear fission diagram
Illustration: Shutterstock

Saying goodbye

Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
A: Gotta split!

These doctor jokes will have you in stitches.

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Ginger red tabby cat walking along a corrugated tin roof
Photo: Chris Mirek Freeman/Shutterstock

Experiment on a hot tin roof

Q: Two cats of the same size slide down a roof at the same time, but one falls off first. Which one?
A: The one with the smaller “mew.”

Check out 25 more paws-itively hilarious cat jokes!

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Legs bankrupt in black holey socks on a black background
Photo: Ruslan Galiullin/Shutterstock

A beginner’s guide to physics

Relativity: When the family gets together
Black holes: What you get in black socks
Critical mass: A big group of film reviewers
Hyperspace: Where you park at the superstore

If you enjoyed these physics jokes, you won’t want to miss our roundup of genuinely funny knock-knock jokes.

Reader's Digest
Originally Published on Reader's Digest