New Year’s Jokes to Start 2022 With a Smile

Ring in the new year with these hilarious New Year's jokes.

New Years Jokes - ResolutionsPhoto: Shutterstock /
Q: What is a New Year’s resolution?

A: Something that goes in one year and out the other.

Q: What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?
A: Chill out.

Q: What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus?
A: No one is awake to see either of them.

Q: Why do you need a jeweller on New Year’s Eve?
A: To ring in the new year.

Q: What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
A: Pop!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Abby who?
Abby New Year.

Don’t miss this roundup of knock-knock jokes that are genuinely funny!

New Year's Jokes - pessimismPhoto: Shutterstock /

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for new year’s. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

My resolution was to read more, so I put the subtitles on my TV.

I see no need to make more New Year’s resolutions when the ones already on the books aren’t being enforced.

This New Year’s, I resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

New Year's Jokes - CalendarPhoto: Shutterstock /

Q: Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
A: Waiting for the punchline.

Q: What did the ghost say on January 1st?
A: Happy Boo Year.

Q: What’s a cow’s favourite holiday?
A: Moo Year’s Eve.

Q: What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?
A: 1080p.

Q: Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?
A: Times Square.

Q: Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
A: To start off the new year in a cool way.

Q: What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?
A: I haven’t seen you for a year!

Q: What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
A: He got 12 months!

Q: What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
A: The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew.

Q: Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve.
A: December 31st.

Next, check out 50 inspirational New Year’s quotes.

Reader's Digest
Originally Published on Reader's Digest