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100+ Work Jokes to Get You Through the Week

In need of some professional motivation? This hilarious collection of work jokes should banish even a serious case of the Mondays.

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High Expectations

Today at work, a woman got huffy with me because she didn’t know that sabre-toothed cats are extinct and thought the museum would have a live one on display. —@Addison_Peacock

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Senior boss talking to one of his employeesPhoto: Shutterstock

Made Redundant

A friend of mine was getting to know his new co-workers when one of them asked why he left his old job. “It was something my boss said,” my friend replied.

“What did your boss say?” the co-worker asked.

“You’re fired.” —Distractify.com

These tweets about driving will make you laugh out loud!

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Man using smartphone at homePhoto: Shutterstock

Strategy for Success

I have a phone interview today, and someone told me to just be myself, so I’m not going to answer the call. —@caithuls

Here are 20 corny Star Wars jokes for any occasion.

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Dinner party at the officePhoto: Shutterstock

Silent Mode

The business I work for had a dinner for all of its employees and invited all their family members to come along. Before the first speech, the host made an announcement: “We kindly ask you to please put all cellphones and children on vibrate.” —GreatCleanJokes.com

Comedians reveal their favourite jokes ever.

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Iced coffeePhoto: Shutterstock

To Whom It May Concern

Due to enormous personal flaws that I refuse to work on, I will be arriving 20 minutes late to work and drinking an iced coffee. Please be respectful. —@EwdatsGROSS

Don’t miss these bad dad jokes from Twitter!

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Empty Apology

My boss, on Friday: “This is the fifth day in a row that you’ve been late.”
Me: “Well, I can promise it won’t happen tomorrow.” —Jokes4us.com

Word nerds will appreciate these 20 grammar jokes.

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Interior of hardware storePhoto: Thiti Sukapan/Shutterstock

Creatures of Habit

When I worked in a hardware store, it was my job to help contractors order their supplies, and there was a certain contractor who would always come into the store shirtless. We had a long lineup one day, and I was busy entering orders when the customer at the front of the line said, “Give me what I usually get.” I looked up and realized that it was the shirtless contractor—wearing a shirt. Without thinking, I said, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!” —Wendy Fredette, Salmon Arm, B.C

Celebrate Pi Day with these hilarious math jokes.

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Courier holding cardboard boxPhoto: Shutterstock

Literal Delivery

I used to work as a cour­ier in a large city. I had a small designated route and was expected to deliver a package every five minutes. Sometimes, when I was running behind, I would rush in carrying a box for delivery to a customer, who would look up slowly from their computer and ask, “What’s that?” I would answer honestly, “It’s a box!” —Peter Bowman, Hamilton

Think you’ve got a special order? Don’t miss these hilarious pizza delivery stories!

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Conflict Management

The next time you have a difficult client at work, instead of saying, “I’ve CC’d in my boss,” just ask, “Do you wanna say that in front of Greg?” —@roobeekeane

Kick off your wedding speech with these 170 LOL-worthy jokes about marriage.

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Power Play

There’s nothing like being the first one on a conference call to show everyone who’s not boss. —Aparna Nancherla, comedian

Check out these times video conference calls went hilariously wrong!

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The Switch

Co-worker: Hey, can you take my shift?

Me: Of course!

Me: Hey, so it turns out I have open-heart surgery on Tuesday. I know it’s kind of late notice, but do you think you could pick up my shift?

Co-worker: Sorry, Tuesday is my dog’s half-birthday. Otherwise I totally would. —@myla_loecke

If you can relate to these funny sleep jokes, you’re not alone!

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Smiling woman at job interviewPhoto: Shutterstock

Special Skills

If you put away the clean laundry on the same day that you wash it, I feel like that’s what you should lead with on your resume.  —@AbbyHasIssues

Discover our 50 best knock knock jokes for kids.

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Waiting at airport loungePhoto: Shutterstock

Career Goal

I never in life want to be the kind of successful that requires getting to an airport before 7 a.m. —@tressiemcphd

Prepare for the holidays with the 25 funniest Christmas jokes for kids.

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Random Excuse Generator

Sorry I’m late. Traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past five years and I was not expecting that. —@KarenKilgariff

Learn the history of the world in 27 dumb jokes!

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A Different Perspective

Your salary is just your company’s monthly subscription of you. —@hiranimeera

You won’t believe these 15 shocking pranks, practical jokes and hoaxes people actually pulled off!

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First Day as a Bartender

Customer: I’ll have a martini, dry.

Me, staring at all the liquid ingredients: I don’t know how to tell you this … —@KylePlantEmoji

Don’t miss these witty bar jokes anyone can remember!

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Two coworkers chattingPhoto: Shutterstock

Office Meteorologist

I deleted my weather app because there’s a guy at work who always tells me what the weather is anyway, and the app never asks how my weekend was. —@leakypod

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Close-up of fountain penPhoto: Shutterstock

Atypical Typo

The medical school at the university where I work was once celebrating an event and decided to hand out gift pens with the inscription “Faculty of Medicine.” The more you bought from the supplier, the lower the cost, so the university bought 2,000 pens. When the pens arrived, all 2,000 of them read: “Faulty of Medicine.” —Robert Halstead, Winnipeg

Check out the most expensive typos in the world!

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Dream On

The greatest lie the devil ever told was that you would get up and finish that project in the morning. —@kristen_arnett

These hilarious sleep jokes will have you laughing in bed.

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Tax Man

My brother worked as a tax auditor for a provincial government. He was dispatched to perform an audit at a nudist colony, but he didn’t uncover anything. —Helen Van Zutphen, Duncan, B.C.

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Youthful work meetingPhoto: Shutterstock

Speaking Up

“As someone with extremely good hair and no other discernible qualities….” —Me, in work meetings
—@ohjuliatweets

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Out of Office

I’m sorry but I can’t respond to your work email. I’ve taken my bra off for the night. —@lizhackett

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Serious lawyersPhoto: Shutterstock

Rule of Law

Me: I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You are the lawyer.
Me: Exactly, so where’s my present? —@MarfSalvador

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Judge in courtPhoto: Shutterstock

Down to Business

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. —@gisscontreras

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Smiling businesswomanPhoto: Shutterstock

Job Interview

HR: What’s your best asset?

Me: I have a great memory.

HR: Give me an example.

Me: Of what? —@permawedgie

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Woman carrying laptopPhoto: Shutterstock

Trying to Be Cool

Every email I ever send: Hello! I am extremely excited to be corres­ponding with you! You can tell by the number of exclamation points I use! Here is one sentence with a period so that I don’t come across as manic. Thanks! —@katelizabee

Bring down the house with these DIY jokes. (Pun intended!)

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Man on conference callPhoto: Shutterstock

What’s That Behind You?!

My husband is on a work Skype call, so every few minutes I silently walk behind him dressed as a new character from Wicked. —@Liz_Hackett

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Cashier at grocery storePhoto: Shutterstock

Customer Knows Best

I said “Sorry for the wait” to a customer and she turned around and said, “No you’re not.” And you know what? She was right. —@Stephfrancex

Check out these hilariously awkward family photos!

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Happy businesswomanPhoto: Shutterstock

Titan of Industry

Me: I’m overwhelmed, dying, too many tasks. Help! What can be done? Will I live this way forever?

Me, after replying to one email: I’m magnificent; what a powerful workhorse. Time to celebrate with a beer—reward this titan of industry! —@Kristen_Arnett

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McDonald's friesPhoto: Nixx Photography

McD’s Misunderstood

Me: Welcome to McDonald’s. Can I take your McOrder?

McDonald’s Boss: Again, you don’t need to put “Mc” in front of words.

Me: Oh, okay. Turns back to customer. Welcome to Donald’s! —@ArfMeasures

You’ll also get a kick out of these hilarious dog memes.

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Funny bride and groom doll on wedding cakePhoto: Shutterstock

Real Romance

Marriage vows should be rewritten as “to have and to hold and to listen to stories about your workplace drama until death do us part.” —@copymama

These relatable parenting tweets will make you laugh out loud.

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Woman checking her email on her laptop and smartphonePhoto: Shutterstock

Full Inbox

I have 80 unread emails, and obviously the only solution is to chuck my computer into the sea. —Ashley Nicole Black, comedian

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Job interviewPhoto: Shutterstock

Interview Advice

Bring extra peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the interviewers. It looks selfish if you’re the only one eating. —@Shanehasabeard

We’ve rounded up the funniest jokes from Canada’s best comedians.

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Job interviewPhoto: Shutterstock

Turning the Tables

During every pause at a job interview, ask your potential boss, “What are you thinking about right now?” —Anne T. Donahue, writer

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Stressed office workerPhoto: Shutterstock

How to Succeed in Business…

Why does no one tell you that 50 per cent of having any adult job is pretending to look busy for eight hours a day? —@SydneyLeeMarco

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Alone in a meetingPhoto: Shutterstock

Small Victories

I’m about to arrive 10 minutes early to a meeting. Where can I pick up my medal? —@TimHererra 

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Senior female bossPhoto: Shutterstock

Taking the Initiative

My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home. —Derek Young, Toronto

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Looking on the Bright Side

One of my students just called me a “cruel beastie,” which I’m taking as a sign of affection. —@BorrowedHorses

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Male teenager getting ready for promPhoto: Shutterstock

Coming of Age

There is no slower passage of time than the hours spent supervising a middle-school dance. —@erica_sage

These funny phrases are definitely worth memorizing!

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Funny work jokes - blenderPhoto: Shutterstock

It’s a Scream, Baby

I can really relate to blenders because I also scream while I’m doing my job. —Tig Notaro, comedian

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Funny work jokes - moosePhoto: Shutterstock

Everybody’s Got to Earn a Living

I saw too moose on the way to work, and when I told the story later, someone asked me how I knew they were going to work. —@Amberlea_Parker

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Funny work jokes - Handwriting a note with penPhoto: Shutterstock

Good Penmanship

Our nephew was getting married to a doctor’s daughter. At the wedding reception, her father stood to make his speech, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper earlier. He stopped several times, overcome with what we could only assume were moments of deep emotion. But, after a particularly long pause, he explained, “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to read what I wrote. Is there by chance a pharmacist in the house?” —Jana Rahrig

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Funny work jokes - round of applause at the office