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Hilarious History Jokes That Are Sure to Make You Smile

You don't have to be a history buff to find these jokes hilarious—but it might help!

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Hilarious history jokes - two fingers peace signPhoto: Shutterstock

Roman rules

A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please!”

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History jokes - Palace of Versaiiles Hall of MirrorsPhoto: Shutterstock

Royal regrets

How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?

These DIY jokes will bring down the house!

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History jokes - Viking shipsPhoto: Shutterstock

Straight outta Groan-land

Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code! —@welovehistory

Groaning at these history jokes? Here are more dad jokes that are so bad, they’re good.

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History jokes - man sleeping at workPhoto: Shutterstock

An executive order

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” —Ronald Reagan

These jokes about sleep will have you chuckling in bed.

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History Jokes - funny medieval knight with phonePhoto: Gorodenkoff /

Dark humour

Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.

Here are 25 knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny!

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History jokes about the MayflowerPhoto: Shutterstock

Spring thing

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

History not your strong suit? Here are some silly physics jokes every science-lover will appreciate.

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History jokes - tea in a pretty teacupPhoto: Shutterstock

One lump or two?

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?
Because proper tea is theft.

Have a laugh at the funniest Canadian news headlines of all time.

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History jokes - office meeting roomPhoto: Shutterstock

A presidential quip

“In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” —President John Adams

Don’t miss our countdown of the funniest comedies on Netflix Canada right now.

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History jokes - George Washington cartoonPhoto: thongyhod /

Washington’s habits

Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie.

These hilarious golf jokes are better than a hole in one.

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History jokes about men refusing to ask for directionsPhoto: Shutterstock

Some things never change

“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.” —Elayne Boosler, comedian

Check out these witty bar jokes anyone can remember.

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History jokes about Henry VIIIPhoto: Shutterstock

Numbers game

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.

Check out more hilarious math jokes!

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History jokes - Trojan horse at fall of TroyPhoto: Shutterstock

It’s all Greek to me

Trojan general: “We are at war with Greece and must not drop our guard at any time.”
Trojan soldier: “Sir, the enemy has given us a giant wooden horse.”
Trojan general: “Great, bring it in!” —@nickeldoodle

Every word nerd will appreciate these funny grammar jokes.

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History questions - Napoleon Bonaparte paintingPhoto: Shutterstock

Corsican roots

Teacher: Can you describe for me Napoleon’s origin?
Student: ‘Course I can!

Once you’ve got these funny history jokes memorized, check out the best Canadian jokes of all time.

Reader's Digest
Originally Published on Reader's Digest