The 61 Most Ridiculous Excuses People Actually Used to Get Out of Work
If you're planning on playing hooky, you're going to have to try a bit harder than these folks...
An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing.
An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.
Take a break at your cubicle and laugh with our collection of cartoons about office life.
Stuck on you
An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
An employee’s wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.
You won’t believe these outrageous lawsuit stories are true!
What’s your poison?
An employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham.
Don’t miss these 75 short jokes anyone can remember.
Potential brain damage
The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
Blowing the coop
An employee couldn’t come to work because she accidentally got on a plane.
In need of some professional motivation? This hilarious collection of jokes about work should banish even a serious case of the Mondays.
Walk of Shame
An employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was in the morning.
An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet, because he was an uncle and pallbearer.
On a more serious note, here are some common phrases you should never say at a funeral—and what to say instead.
An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway.
Don’t miss these bizarre excuses people used in car insurance claims.
An employee refused to come to work because his fish was unwell.
Something in the air
An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires.
Check out these real-life stories of the world’s dumbest criminals.
An employee was bowling the game of his life and couldn’t make it to work.
Show me the money
An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
Discover the things lottery winners will never, ever tell you.
An employee said she was bitten by a duck.
Don’t miss these 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at.
An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home, and had to stay home to deal with it.
The employee said he’d gotten drunk the night before and was now suffering from a hangover.
From coast to coast, here’s each Canadian province’s signature hangover cure.
An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
Oh happy day
An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
From a thief returning a stolen car with a full tank of a gas to a multi-million dollar maple syrup heist, here are the most Canadian headlines of all time.
Law and order
An employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
An employee was feeling too upset after watching The Hunger Games.
An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowners’ Association.
You’ll be glad these hilarious DIY disasters didn’t happen to you!
An employee said a cow broke into her house and she had to wait for the insurance man.
An employee forgot he had been hired for the job.
An employee got a cold from a puppy.
An employee was blocked in by police raiding her home.
These have got to be the weirdest things people have found after the snow melted.