20 Grammar Jokes Every Word Nerd Will Appreciate

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

Funny grammar jokes
Photo: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Our Favourite Grammar Jokes of All Time

The past, present, and future walked into a bar…
It was tense.

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws and the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the ends of a clause.

Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?
A: They’re too possessive

Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“To who?”
“Actually, it’s to whom.”

Here are more knock-knock jokes that are genuinely funny!

Pregnant woman joke
Photo: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman…

…who went into labour and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?
She was having contractions.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral.” Demetri Martin, comedian

Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?
A: A Thesaurus

Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?
A: The noun declined.

Check out more short jokes to make anyone laugh.

Shakespeare grammar joke
Photo: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

A: Pencils confused him: 2B or not 2B?

I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.
It could spell disaster.

When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?
Nobody knew why.

Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it?
A: Short

Don’t miss this roundup of our all-time favourite wedding jokes.

Light bulb grammar joke
Photo: Robert Liwanag/Shutterstock

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end. (Here are more silly light bulb jokes!)

Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nerd?
A: “There, their, they’re.”

When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”
I said, “Who, me?”

It’s always “i” before “e”… Except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.

“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous

If these grammar jokes put a smile on your face, be sure to check out our best-ever dog jokes.

Reader's Digest
Originally Published on Reader's Digest